|“|| Audrey: How could you live with yourself? I mean, when you were actually living? How do you think you're going to live with Shadow? Presumably your stalking him will come to some sort of fruition. I mean, what then? What, happy family? Little zombie baby? Like, a zombie dog?|
Laura: I'll have my own private sunshine.
Audrey: Laura, you wiped your ass with that sunshine. Shadow deserves better than you.
–Audrey and Laura, "Git Gone"
Significance in series Edit
Shadow is late to Laura's funeral and finds a spot in a pew next to Audrey Burton, Robbie's wife and Laura's best friend. She begins mouthing off about Laura and Shadow tells her he's sorry about Robbie. She realizes that Shadow doesn't know that Laura died with Robbie's "cock in her mouth."
The funeral proceeds to the graveside where Shadow stays through until the grave is filled. He doesn't understand why Laura would cheat on him. Audrey stumbles over, doped up on Ativan and having just pissed on Robbie's grave. She pieced things together and figured out that Robbie and Laura were having an affair for a long time. She goes into detail about Robbie's dick being severed in the crash and what she told the coroner to do with it. She is angry that she won't ever get closure before she breaks down crying and offers him a hug. He hugs her back and she next offers him an "eye for an eye, a blowjob for a blowjob." He refuses and comforts and holds her as she cries.
When Laura and Shadow start dating, she introduces him to her friends, Audrey and Robbie Burton. After Shadow is arrested, Laura spends time with Audrey and Robbie and visits Shadow in prison. She returns home one night to find her cat, Dummy, dead on the floor. She calls Robbie and drinks wine while he buries Dummy in the backyard. He offers for her to come crash on their couch for the night but she refuses. She goes to him for a hug, which turns into a kiss. Laura pulls away, saying she is drunk and alone and her cat just died. They start kissing again. The next day, Robbie comes over to Laura's house with a fake excuse. Laura makes it clear that she is waiting for Shadow before they go inside to have sex.
Robbie wants to leave Audrey for Laura but Laura tells him it is over because Shadow is coming home. She breaks it off with him, giving him a blowjob as he sings The Weight along with the radio. Laura's knee accidentally knocks the gearshift just as Robbie swerves to avoid an oncoming car. Their car ends up in a ditch with their bodies strewn along the highway.
After Laura rises from the dead, finds her way to Audrey's craft room where she attempts to sew her arm back onto her body. She sees a scrapbook Audrey had made for Shadow as her stomach gurgles unpleasantly. Audrey shows up and sees Laura and starts screaming. She grabs her cell phone and locks herself in the bathroom as Laura begs her to not call the police. Laura breaks the bathroom doorknob and enters the bathroom as Audrey screams in the bathtub. She explains to Audrey that she needs to use the toilet and evacuates her bowels of embalming fluid. They discuss Laura and Robbie's affair and how everyone knows what happened. Audrey says it's easier "grieving someone when you're glad they're dead."
Audrey sews Laura's arm back on and Laura apologizes for fucking over Audrey. She admits the big lie she really told was that she promised Shadow she could wait for him. They leave in Audrey's car so Laura can find Shadow. Audrey tells Laura that Shadow deserves better than Laura and Laura admits that she loves Shadow now even though she might not have loved him before.
A black jackal and Mr. Ibis stand in the middle of the road, stopping Audrey's car. The jackal stands up into Anubis, telling Laura that he remembers her. Jacquel and Ibis take Laura to their funeral parlor.
Physical appearance Edit
Audrey is a small woman in her thirties with blonde hair.